Days gone by

I uploaded a swack of photos to flickr today, some that brought back memories, some that made me say “what if?” and some that I’ve avoided for the better part of a year. I thought it was going be hard to go through them and deal with the emotions that they brought, but in the end, it wasn’t so bad. Over the last couple weeks I’ve resigned myself to deal with these things, deal with things about myself I want to change, evolve as a person, and it’s just been a matter of sitting down and trying, and now that I am, I’m feeling better, mostly.

I haven’t slept well the last couple of days, and now I’m having trouble keeping my eyes open as I write this. I hear noises in my head as I try to sleep and my body panics, shooting me awake. Somehow, I think this is progress.

Work, Thoughts, Photo Essay

I have come to the conclusion that I am not a bad supervisor, or a bad person to work with. I always use “please” and “thank you”, I explain to my staff what to do, I tell them when they are doing a good job and correct them, nicely, when making mistakes. The last couple nights have seen some people very excited to have me closing, because they knew it would be fun. I guess they like me.

I can’t shake the thought that I’m about to do something really stupid.

Now, in regards to the photo essay: I’ve decided to purchase the latest version of Photoshop. I am aware I can download it from torrents, but I’d rather not, just to be on the safe side. I got some great ideas while writing a bit for it, and decided I want it to be a big project for me, something to keep my mind occupied. So next payday or the one after I am going to order it, and then I’m gunna sit down with it when I have downtime, and on my 2 weeks holidays in October.

I hope no one wanted to see it really badly.

So I haven’t updated much lately

Because I haven’t been in the mood. Allyson and I broke up last Sunday, so I’ve been in a thinking and contemplative sort of mode lately. The whole relationship and break up made me realize a lot of things about myself, things I need to think about and try to fix, but it also showed me that when you say you’re gunna try to be friends with an ex, you don’t just try, you just go out and do it. Allyson and I have done that, and it’s worked well. I think a large part of that is because, when we broke up, we sat there for 3 hours talking about it, the reasons why, what we were gunna do. We just talked it out and got that bit of closure out of the way, and now it’s just up to us to grieve on our own, which we’re doing. We’ve talked every day, and we went out to see some fireworks on Tuesday, talked some more things over, and other than the longing to hold her hand, give her a little kiss, it was fine. It has solidified my belief that if you want things to work out with someone, you HAVE to talk to them and work it out, and not just put it away.

I owe someone a chat.

I may not update in the next week or so, I’m planning on doing a photo essay blog type project, so keep your eyes on my Flickr page because there will be a LOT of pictures going up, and a lot of new sets to look at.

Edit: It appears that I had turned off comments for this entry, and I’m not sure how, but they are enabled again, if for some reason you need to say something.

This has got to be the funniest shit

I have ever seen.

I just ordered 12 years worth of Peanuts comics

I am officially amazing.

I am tired and stressed as hell.

I’m thinking about quitting my job

I’m sick of all the insane amounts of bullshit that manages to go on there.